My only regret is that I didn’t find this healer years ago.
My life as an author is going ahead in leaps and bounds. I am experiencing that satisfying feeling when that perfect cake is rising in the oven or when the finishing line in a marathon is a mere crawl away. The word gratitude is now coming out of my mouth more often than it ever did.
My whole life has been about growing and achieving driven by a need to constantly discover new and innovative ways of doing things.
Today, in particular, many years ago, I became a mother for the first time. I, like many others, was torn between juggling a career and motherhood. As someone with a creative mind that races faster than a whirlwind at times, I struggled with keeping it from spinning out of control. Keeping my mind in check and in tune with the rest of me was hard to maintain. The challenge to keep my mind from spinning out of control with projects, travel, and personal development caused chaos in my personal life. This imbalance, more often led to repeating the same experiences.
Eventually all this took a toll on my nervous system. My anxiety and panic disorder went through the roof. I became depressed when I wasn’t everything.
I am semi-retired, whatever that means because I haven’t enough hours in the day to accomplish everything. A year ago, I started paying attention to my out of control emotions. I started feeling this deep searing pain and a rising discomfort with myself and started questioning who I am. I struggled to listen to those close to me who cared about my wellbeing. I thought they were being overly critical and that I could work it out.
It soon dawned on me that I couldn’t do it on my own. When that realisation took over, I came unstuck to the point where I could not leave our home. When I finally accepted that this is not normal and not something that I could work through on my own, I felt a complete failure. At that low point, I sought professional help.
I was fortunate to find a healer. His life changing work led to significant changes in my thought pattern. My brain remains super creative but the spinning, the critical over-thinking and the mental anguish has been replaced with an inner stillness and a deeper appreciation for who I am.
My new book, Behind my Smile: a True Story of an Author, a Broken Spirit and a Healer will detail the full story of my road to recovery. Prepare yourselves for a bumpy ride!
My healing journey allowed me for the first time in a long time to feel at peace, and to settle the mental anguish about my future. My future definitely looks very bright.